Negotiating with a Japanese government agency taught me never to assume you know how the other side thinks.

Our logic and approach don’t always translate into effective communication because that demands understanding the recipient deeply.

In a negotiation with a Taiwanese-born executive raised in America, treating him as anything other than an American was a huge error on my part. All the cultural cues, like birthplace or family, were irrelevant to his negotiation style. I thought he was “asian” yet he was an American, and his manners didn’t match his physical appearance!

As for navigating less visible, deeply ingrained cultural norms, like those in Japan, good luck. Far too often, we’re stuck on transmit, not checking if our message resonates or even offends the person in front of us. The “American” was being impolite (in asian terms) to me to the extent he couldn’t communicate effectively; yet once we hacked the disconnect, we got on fine!

In many instances, though, and specifically in Japan, we may not even be speaking to the person, group or entity that will decide any case; but that’s a next-level challenge for another post. Or you can buy a book and study before you start, just like I did!

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